Fact or Fiction? #1

“You came seeking an epiphany?” said the strangely accurate sadhu as he sat cross legged infront of me, his ashen dreadlocks like antenna to my most private thoughts

“maybe” i exclaimed, my attempt at ambiguity laden with transparency

He smiled at me,the ash on his face creasing at the edges of his eyes, parts flake off and i realise the inspiration for “why so serious?” was birthed in this mans face…… “it will come but…”

“But what?” i sprang two paces towards him, too excited to uncross my legs and take my joined hands away from the pranam i had held since our meeting began.

He went silent, pinched his lower lip and a look of grave concern bannered across his face. “But….”

“But what!!?” i lept twice more, floundering in uncertainty, thirsty for his answer, an answer that would top a rather dull journey across the alleged spiritual heartland of the world. “Tell me Swamiji i need to know” i added hoping to appeal to his more compassionate side.

“But…” his once erect posture was the next thing to be effected by my predicament, he slouched and his eyes were now meeting mine. Even more stern now, Swamiji had something important to tell me and i knew at that very moment it was the epiphany i came to India seeking, this was the moment upon which i would build a new life. He crouched in towards my ear and whispered his wisdom stealthily… “But…..it will take US dollars you see, with the economy and all”

I went straight to my wallet and grabbed the first plastic my fingers touched “VISA ok Swamiji?”

Swamiji went back to his original meditative position and smiled, i saw my reflection in his gold front teeth and when he raised his Tag Heuer clad hand in blessing i knew i was in the presence of a liberated soul, “Swamiji accepts all” he spoke, the wisdom and serenity in his words speaking directly to my soul…….

Beware the Sony Boys!

British Gang Graffiti

American Gang Graffiti

Indian Gang Graffiti

Beware the Sony Boys! (they were born to do sex)

Photo taken at Bandra Reclamation, Mumbai    

The Frankie Man Can(t)

Corruption has been identified as one of the most if not the most crippling social ill within India and indeed the subcontinent. Decades of deal sweetening have oiled the gears of Indian civil society so much so that it is an accepted part of living, it seems to seep into everything, the workplace, the civil service, hell some people can’t marry their daughter off without paying a bribe. Yet it seems as though corruption is only given a negative connotation when the dreams and aspirations of the average joe are stifled, his struggle to make ends meet made even harder by Keyne’s “invisible hand” gone haywire.

Now i completely agree this isn’t something that should be trivialised , its a sad sad thing and many people are silently tolerating it in their daily lives as it tangibly eats away at their quality of life. I just feel that there is a lack of consistency when it comes to the definition of the term. The principle is essentially the same right? Cash/kind in exchange for what you want from a government institution, you scratch my back i scratch yours? So then is it not corruption when the Ambani brothers pay millions of dollars to have their say in Indian Federal economic policy (and having it steered in their favour?) Or how even more millions are given so that the authorities turn a blind eye to the malignant monopolistic behaviour and rabid diversification Reliance has been engaging in since inception? Note how most nations have independent bodies that deal with such anti-competitive behaviour. I can’t say with confidence that i know wether India has such a body, but if so they obviously aren’t switched on. Microsoft was reprimanded recently i believe for the manner in which their constant buyouts of smaller entities was preventing the growth of any competitors. The rationale is that such violent horizontal and vertical diversification corrodes competition and therefore leads to a situation where a single entity has enough power to control an entire industry and potentially an economy. I cant say Reliance are exactly identical but by the manner in which they conduct business its very obvious they run half the country and have a say in where its going. But thats besides the point, this behaviour is in my belief corruption albeit with a facelift, boobjob and a few botox injections, all justified under the guise of one of the highest GDP growth rates in the world and the mantra of “India Rising”. “This corruption is good for us” we are subliminally made to believe, the ugly face of corruption made Jenna Jameson-esque to suit the new India. All im saying is that if all corruption is in its essence following the same process shouldn’t we be just as disgusted by this as we are a police officer asking for a bribe at a traffic signal?… which leads me to a point i had selfishly not made earlier…..ever had a Frankie?

I was completely unaware of what a Frankie was until it was sprung on me by the local Frankie-wala (Frankie-dude) street hawker, who by the dimming glow of his gas lantern created for me Mumbai’s vegetarian answer to that post nightclub kebab/felafel that some of us are so very used to. Very quickly, it’s a chappati with fried potatoe and veggies layered in, topped of with chilli sauce and a heart attack inducing amount of cheese. It tends to hit the spot like the late night kebab fix, but you know you’ve reduced your life by a good 10-15 minutes just by biting into the thing. It’s an honest job he does our local Frankie-wala (FW), and the people of the suburb appreciate him for it. So it comes as no suprise that he’s been identified by the police as a potential cash cow. What’s sad about this situation is that FW isn’t exactly rolling in money, he already pays his bribes to the local cop shop. But more recently a rogue police officer has taken a fancy for him, and demands an extra cash payment as commissioned by the local police beat (a subsidiary of the suburban police station-so essentially the same cops two different payments). The facts as given by my cousin (of which my memory is rather fuzzy but i will approximate) are this, something similar to 1200 rupees a month to the local police department, and now on top of that the new player in the game is asking for a similar amount on a monthly basis. The damage is 2400 rps a month from a man who i doubt earns all that much money. What’s wonderfully idiotic about the whole situation is the rationale by which the new “coppa” (said in my very best Trent from Punchy voice) justifies his payment. Again it’s as vague as alot of things over here so i will be brief…. get this for logic “Your menu includes Chinese noodles and is rather extensive, this means you are more than a street hawker, you are practically a restaurant on wheels, you need a permit for this to continue”….stupid is it not?. The guy pushes a little four wheel cart around and has a little nephew from his village manning the frying pan, and “coppa” (again with voice) wants his hard earned, it makes stealing from a collection plate seem pious. The story was retold to my cousin whilst we waited for our Frankies, FW was asking my cousin for some assistance as it turns out that Coppa had turned up the heat after throwing FW in the slammer for a few hours leaving his very young nephew to man the cart on his own. At the revelation of this detail the nephews eyes met mine, i must admit it was a poignant moment for me , and yes i realise i may be sounding rather clichéd here, but there was alot in the boys eyes, a pleading, a desperation, but also a very honest look that knew full well that there was jack all that i as a firangi (foreigner) could do. My cousin lent FW a few reassuring words and said he’d see what he could do, we moved on and my cousin told me that the press occasionally is interested in such stories, but truth is it isn’t “sexy” enough for them to pursue. It’s been a few days since this incident and we’ve driven down FW’s road a few times, i haven’t seen him at all, his familiar gas lantern missing from the litany of lights accompanying the roads of my suburb. Maybe he’s packed up and gone maybe he’s just avoiding the Coppa, either way big bad Mumbai seems to have claimed yet another scalp via its most tried and tested henchman….corruption. Very few cities shape their inhabitants such that at one moment they can nurture and accept them for a job well done and then instantaneously have them begging on their knees for mercy, but Mumbai can do just that. Another man once patted on the back and accepted for a job well done now winded by the almost instant cruelty of his split-personality Master.

PS
On a side note i am not exempt from this process, only yesterday i attempted to bribe my way onto a train from Bangalore to Trivendram…i failed miserably but that’s a story for another day…

The aftermath…

I write this post long after the Mumbai terrorist attacks are over. I have no official stats on hand to confirm this but the entire process and i am approximating here took upwards of three days, over 150 lives were lost, and over 200 people were injured. I chose not to blog during the actual crisis itself due to the fact that i wouldn’t have been able to do justice to the happenings as they occurred. An event of such epic proportions requires constant surveillance, and i simply could not offer that. I will be brutally honest, at first i was religiously glued to the screen watching as even the smallest development magnified into the talking point of the hour (a habit inculcated in me via the crack cocaine that was CNN during the recent American election), but soon after i found myself tuning out and channel surfing mostly. The reason? A mixture of a few things, number one being the fact that Indian news coverage can be so incredibly haphazard, this coupled with a large dose of sensationalism, a hint of political bias and newsreaders with one hand on the war button and you have a a media outlet that does more to incite fear and form people’s opinions for them rather than act as the substrate upon which opinion can be formed. The other reason was that i genuinely could not digest that much horror without absorbing it myself, so as one does i switched stations rationalising my move under the category of “deserved escapism”…..junk food for my below average intellect.

I have spent the last few days safely nesting in the suburbs of Mumbai, and justifiably so, the siege continued for three days and there was very little to no “all clear” given by any authorities. The suburbs bustle away, yet the emotions of the tragedy remain etched in the minds of the regular Mumbaikar, as i learnt tonight. Alot is said of the “Mumbai Spirit”, its a term thrown around alot here and it’s a concept upon which i may have naively based my last post. Yet whilst my hosts drove me around tonight i managed to catch a snippet on Mumbai talkback radio that questioned this very doctrine and made me think of one of my favourite quotes by Banksy, “People who wave flags don’t deserve to have them”. An angry citizen blazed on the radio about how “The Mumbai Spirit” is infact and i quote here “bullshit”. Nothing more than a smokescreen ideology that is pulled out of the coffers whenever Mumbai is wounded and used to deflect attention from the lack of initiative by local and federal government authorities. I’m presuming here that the dogma was a means by which politicians laid claim to a Mumbai specific social phenomena and were repackaging it in the veil of patriotism, this phenomenon in its essence is more survivalist that anything else. The average Mumbaikar has to go on with life despite the tension in the atmosphere because well, life can be difficult in Mumbai for most, a day without work could mean a day without food and for some every day can be a struggle. So the politicians and media have taken this and run with it, creating in its wake a tricolour juggernaut of patriotism that does more to hide their flaws than it does inspire people. So back to the never to be “Sir” Banksy quote, “People who wave flags don’t deserve to have them”, politicians almost always rely on patriotic sentiment to steer their hidden agendas. This tactic shouldn’t be alien to Australians, the Howard Governments use of rather idiotic catchphrases such as “mateship” and being “un-Australian” justified a vigilance of Muslim minorities and also set in stone even more rigidity in our immigration policy, similarly the use of the “Mumbai Spirit” doctrine is being waved patriotically in order to hide the gaping holes in Indian policy and infrastructure. So beware the flag waver or the brother that doubles up the national flag as a cape, more often than not they are living up to a standard of patriotism that is wanted and needed by the local government, a level of patriotism that creates in one such a strong fervour of pride that they are blind to the true machinations of their Government and therefore the rather large mess that maybe simmering in their own backyard. Jefferson was onto something when he said “Dissent is the greatest form of patriotism”, my friend on the radio I feel was exemplifying that by rejecting his Governments propaganda.

That said it would be wrong to say “spirit” doesn’t exist. This evening i stopped at a makeshift shrine for the fallen (you see pictures within this post), and watched as the locals lit candles in memory of those that had passed. It was a sweet affair, families and plenty of youth lighting candles and standing in solidarity, it was obvious they had all been affected by what had happened. Taking stock I couldn’t help but feel i was in the middle of a very Mumbai moment, i know i’ve spoken of this earlier and am probably sounding rather redundant. But at every corner i turn i can’t help but run into situations where the goodness of this great cities people touches me. The Mumbai Spirit does indeed exist, it just can’t be detected in the misled oratory of corrupt politicians, or the sensationalism of its fear mongering media, it stirs and sleeps in the streets and when it wakes up it does so without an entourage of special effects ,loudspeakers and catchy visuals, it is humble, honest and sincere just like its people.

-n-